Mindfulness
How can I be Mindful?
Embody the attitudes of mindfulness. Try to incorporate these qualities into your everyday life, your interactions with others, and most importantly, within yourself.
Focus on right NOW, not the past, not the future, but live in the moment.
Mindfulness is not just something you do in therapy. You will have to practice outside of therapy. Perhaps that means formally meditating or trying to engage with the mindful qualities in other ways. Mindfulness is a skill; we have to help develop it.
I highly recommend you use a mindfulness app on your smart phone or listen to meditations on YouTube. Guided meditations can be particularly helpful for people who have trouble with a wandering mind!
Some other good apps are, Insight Timer, Mindfulness Coach, Headspace, Calm, UCLA Mindful, Smiling Today.
What if the Moment is Not Pleasant?
Patience comes from the Latin verb patior which means “to suffer.” Waiting patiently is suffering through the present moment, tasting it to the full, and letting the seeds that are sown in the ground on which we stand grow into strong plants. - Henri Nouwen
Mindfulness can be a verb or an adjective. We become a mindful person by practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness has been shown to be very helpful for many people experiencing various biopsychosocial issues. It is even a tool to enhance well-being and increase/improve resiliency.
What is Mindfulness?
An intentional, non-judgmental awareness of the present moment.
It is a journey, not a destination.
Mindfulness VERSUS mindful practices: Mindful activities will lead to a mindful way of being. We want to work on embodying the mindful qualities and attitudes below.
Hard things are hard. It is normal to experience distressing, confusing emotions in response to certain situations. Mindfulness helps people learn how to better approach these emotions.
We do not have to struggle or fight with our thoughts and feelings, but rather to observe them nonjudgmentally and let them come and go freely.
What is Mindfulness Not?
Just meditation (although, it is a big part)
Just relaxation (typically helps people relax, but that is not the goal)
Just being aware or present (it must be in an intentional way)
Trying to be positive (often people who are mindful are more positive, because they learn how to suffer well and let things go)
A type of religion (people do often report increased spirituality, but it is not the goal)
Mindful Attitudes and Qualities
Non-Judgment – Not labeling. We automatically try to categorize and label everything around us. This attitude lets us see things/people/situations for what they truly are. Sometimes things just are.
Patience – Giving yourself and others time. Recognizing being impatient typically gets you no closer to the “goal.” Often, we may add time to our experience/journey by being in a hurry. We may miss out on people or experiences because we do not let them come in their own time.
Beginner’s Mind & Openness - Letting go of any preconceived notions or expectations. We intentionally go into situations as if for the first time, allowing us to see things as they truly are.
Trust – Trusting in your mindful practice and yourself, body, mind, and spirit.
Non-Striving – Approach mindful practices or experiences with a sense of curiosity versus expectations.
Acceptance – While not giving up, we must accept things as they are in that moment. Without acceptance, we cannot move forward.
Letting Go – Not holding on to experiences, feelings, sensations but rather letting them come and go freely on their own. When we cling to these things (“good” or “bad”), it can cause problems.
Gratitude – Being grateful and appreciating all things in life, including your body and breath, objects that help you get through the day, people, nature, your own practice of mindfulness or the ability to be present, among many other things.
Generosity – Giving without expecting anything in return, even when it may not be easy or convenient. Giving to yourself, time, energy, care, concerns, etc.
Empathy – Being able to “put yourself in someone else’s shoes.” Truly understanding what another is feeling from their perspective and being present with these feelings.
Gentleness – Being easy and understanding of yourself and others, when appropriate. We don’t want to intentionally put ourselves or others down.
Loving Kindness – The ability to give love and compassion to the self and others without expecting anything in return. To have unconditional love and positive regard for the self and others, truly wishing ourselves and others well.
Adapted from Jon Kabat-Zinn, MBSR Founder and author of “Full Catastrophe Living”
“To think in terms of either pessimism or optimism oversimplifies the truth. The problem is to see reality as it is.”
– Thích Nhất Hạnh